Hi there
I honestly hope you can give me a little advice, as my back is against the wall.
About 3 weeks ago my father in law passed on, my mom in law is still staying at there home but says it is too lonely with too many memories there, she now wishes to sell there home.
Her only daughter loves in Australia, who has said she must come and stay with her, of which she wont as I have a little girl of 4, she refuses to leave her.
She's willing to go over on holiday, but says she's gonna come back and stay with my self my husband and our little one temporary, then go to her sister, back and forth. So she basically will not have her own place, (she has another son of which she refuses to go there)
She then says i must get a bigger place so she has somewhere to go when she comes back, but it will be temporary but she is willing to help with expenses as we cannot at the moment afford anything bigger than what we have.
By saying temporary which she means 3 months of the year, why would she want to help with expenses, if its temporary.I have lived with her before and could not again as she is extremely interfering and controlling, we lived with her for 6 months before and if my husband and i where in bed she would not knock before entering the room after being told to. She tries to act like my Childs mother and under mine our authority, if my husband reprimands my daughter she literally stands in his way and shouts him down,it just wouldn't work, how can i let her down easy without hurting her feelings, or am i over reacting
Desperate please help
Gail M.
Hi Gail,
I am so sorry to hear that you are in this situation.
My first suggestion is to communicate with your husband. You do not have to deal with this alone, you are in this together - a team.
Does he feel the same way as you? If so, he should help you tell your mother-in-law that she is not going to be able to stay with you (temporary or otherwise).
If he does not feel the same way as you (meaning he does not mind her staying with you for long periods at a time), then I suggest that you and your husband come to an agreement of what will be best for your immediate family (you, husband, child).
Stay calm. Remember that you are a woman who knows what her and her family need - and you have to do what you have do. Be brave and take risks - that is the only way to find true happiness in life.
Good luck Gail, and please let us know how things end up!
Love, Jill
I honestly hope you can give me a little advice, as my back is against the wall.
About 3 weeks ago my father in law passed on, my mom in law is still staying at there home but says it is too lonely with too many memories there, she now wishes to sell there home.
Her only daughter loves in Australia, who has said she must come and stay with her, of which she wont as I have a little girl of 4, she refuses to leave her.
She's willing to go over on holiday, but says she's gonna come back and stay with my self my husband and our little one temporary, then go to her sister, back and forth. So she basically will not have her own place, (she has another son of which she refuses to go there)
She then says i must get a bigger place so she has somewhere to go when she comes back, but it will be temporary but she is willing to help with expenses as we cannot at the moment afford anything bigger than what we have.
By saying temporary which she means 3 months of the year, why would she want to help with expenses, if its temporary.I have lived with her before and could not again as she is extremely interfering and controlling, we lived with her for 6 months before and if my husband and i where in bed she would not knock before entering the room after being told to. She tries to act like my Childs mother and under mine our authority, if my husband reprimands my daughter she literally stands in his way and shouts him down,it just wouldn't work, how can i let her down easy without hurting her feelings, or am i over reacting
Desperate please help
Gail M.
Hi Gail,
I am so sorry to hear that you are in this situation.
My first suggestion is to communicate with your husband. You do not have to deal with this alone, you are in this together - a team.
Does he feel the same way as you? If so, he should help you tell your mother-in-law that she is not going to be able to stay with you (temporary or otherwise).
If he does not feel the same way as you (meaning he does not mind her staying with you for long periods at a time), then I suggest that you and your husband come to an agreement of what will be best for your immediate family (you, husband, child).
Stay calm. Remember that you are a woman who knows what her and her family need - and you have to do what you have do. Be brave and take risks - that is the only way to find true happiness in life.
Good luck Gail, and please let us know how things end up!
Love, Jill
Labels: Family-Advice
